Still Standing (4 of 4)
My stint here in the Weekly Sillimanian has been a wild rollercoaster ride. Being at the helm of a weekly student paper is no joke – especially for a rookie like me. How I wished that we were a monthly paper instead. The weekly toll of managing a staff with a broad spectrum of personalities, on top of having to sift through articles every week, demands a lot of time, sleep, and yes, even money from my own pocket. Our office has become a make-shift house just so we could come out on a Wednesday.
My ‘social’ life was put on the back burner on a number of occasions and weekends are no longer rest days but rather ‘newspaper layout-ing’ days. The complaints we get are often disheartening but we could only do so much as a staff that has only began to finds its rhythm nearing the end of the school year. I’ve made regrettable mistakes and unwise decisions but at least I have gained wisdom and insight after every single one. We strive to be better than the last issue because we try to raise the standard every single time.
Though it all, my values of humility, self-sacrifice, restraint, patience and faith in God have strengthened all the more. Trust me, this whole Editor-in-chief tag can get into your head quite easily. And I admit, my pride rears its ugly head at times but I praise God for his gentle rebukes, reminding me that this position isn’t about me. It’s about giving back to Him all the praise and the glory in sweet worship and dedication for all he’s done and will do for those who truly have Christ in their hearts. I’m not the center of the universe, the Creator is – the same God who breathes life into stars is the same one who came to save a failure like me.
The secret to surviving in a weekly paper is not to rely on your own strength, abilities and mere time management. The secret lies in genuinely and earnestly seeking the Lord Jesus Christ in spirit and in truth despite the busyness. Without God to sustain me, I wouldn’t be able to last as long as I did. I simply have no one else to turn to but to God. Nobody and nothing compares to the sweetness of a life blessed by the spirit of the Lord.
Every single week, I go through moments of self-pity and fatigue. But somehow, I’m still able to stand on my two feet. As much as I wanted to cry and simply quit the paper, my God, my savior, my redeemer, just kept impressing upon my heart these words: “I will never leave you nor forsake you!” And He never did!
The promise in Isaiah 40: 29-31 is very true to me. It says: “He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; He offers strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
Each time I’m at my lowest and when I feel like exploding on my staff, I retreat to the throne of God’s grace in prayer and I seek for the TRUTH in his WORD and there he fills me with a peace that transcends beyond the capacity of my finite mind. The truth in Hebrews 4:12 underscores this: “For the WORD of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires. It exposes us for what we really are.”
I am also very thankful for the fellowship of Christians which the Lord has lead me to. Our weekly meetings of prayer and encouragement at Scheide chapel have helped in keeping me sane and holding me together. Fellowship with fellow believers, regardless of church membership, is key to growing in faith and accountability.
I will definitely miss the Weekly Sillimanian office, and the staff as well. But as Ecclesiastes 3:1 puts it: “There is a season for everything.” My appointed time as editor is nearing its end. Then again, God has a purpose for everything. But not only does he have a purpose, He cares.
